Eight Years Married

We were young and good looking once, eight years ago.

Today J and I marked eight years of marriage. And by marked, I mean that I got a chocolate trifle at Tesco to have for dessert, since dessert means it's a special occasion. I vaguely recall going out to dinner to celebrate anniversaries before we had kids, but the memory is hazy. Now life is so busy that we don't always remember what day it is, and that's how we both completely forgot about our anniversary last year. (Yes, for real.) I'd say that both of us remembering this year is a step in the right direction, and having a somewhat fancy dessert pretty much puts this year's celebration over the top, comparatively speaking.


I was thinking today about all the marriage advice people give, all the articles I've ever read, all those little tidbits that are meant to help couples have marriages that are healthy and strong. We haven't followed much of it. I think that's because what keeps a marriage strong is really particular to each couple. There's not really a list that works for everyone. I think the most important thing is to treat each other with respect and kindness and to keep figuring out what works for us as a couple and as individuals as well.

Right now what works is being okay with things being really low key. I'd love to have a getaway or to get really nice gifts for each other, or even to have a fancy meal out sans kids. But that's not what's workable this year (or what was workable last year, or the year before that, as I recall), and the strength of our marriage does not depend on us marking the day in a way that requires more time, effort, and money than we currently have to give.

I am really happy to just be passing the milestone of one more year together, to look at the life that we are building and feel satisfied that it is a good one, that we will keep working to make it good for years to come. We are lucky to have each other, to have the question of who we spend our days with settled. We are a good team, and we know that, and that makes for a very happy anniversary indeed.