Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Seven Years a Mother

Seven years ago today, I became a mother. Not in the usual way, and the title of mother to my children does not belong only to me. I am and always will be the second mother, and I am okay with that. I'll just be frank here and say that if you're not okay with being the second mother, then adoption is not a good way for you to become a parent. You need to be firm in putting yourself dead last in the hierarchy, because that is where you belong. The child comes first, and after that the first family, and dead last: you. This is not what I set out to write today, but it suddenly feels very important to mention it.

I have had the pleasure of loving my Z in person for seven whole years. I'm still in awe of the fact that she allowed me to love her, and even more bowled over by her love for me. If she had run screaming from me when I asked to hold her, that would have been understandable. I was a stranger to her, as was J. But she took a chance on us, and we are so very lucky that she did.

Z is kind and thoughtful and generous. She is the very best big sister. She is clever and creative. She has worked hard on so many things that matter in her life. I have done my best to labor alongside her and help her in any way I can, but in truth it is her remarkable spirit which has made all the difference. I don't think I could be prouder of all that she has accomplished in these seven years. When I say I am the luckiest mother, you'd better believe that I mean it.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for allowing me (us) to follow your journey for all these years. Always love to read your words on motherhood.


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