Wednesday, January 30, 2019

The Luckiest Introvert Mama

Today we had our Wednesday homeschool group. I can't remember how much I've said about this group in the past, so to recap what I may or may not have said, this group is one that I plan and facilitate. We have a really amazing location with both indoor and outdoor space to use, and each week we have a theme for which the children can prepare a presentation if they like, and I come up with a craft to go along with the theme. We meet fortnightly, which works out well for me. I wouldn't say that it's loads of work, but it's enough that I wouldn't want to have to do it weekly. In addition to planning the craft and gathering all the necessary materials, I also haul everything we need in out and of the venue each time. So it requires a fair bit of exertion just on that score.

And then there's the other aspect, which is that I am an introvert, and it's become a very well attended group. This makes me happy, because I know that means that I must be doing my job as planner/facilitator reasonably well. But it also makes me exhausted. Everything that involves being with lots of people does, and when I'm in charge, it's even more intense. So after it's over, I need a little time just to myself.

I'm feeling very fortunate today that this is something my children have come to understand and accept about me, and aside from times when their own needs loom large, they give me the space I need. This wasn't always the case. But today they made a quick visit into the living room when they were discussing what they'd do for the rest of the afternoon, and then they left me alone. And then - then! - they cleaned. The only thing better than being left alone when I need space is having someone do the work that is often left to me.

There have been some aspects of parenting that have been a big challenge the last couple of weeks, and sometimes I've been left wondering if I'm doing much of anything right. So much of what I thought was going well started going wrong. It was incredibly discouraging. But today my children listened to what I needed, didn't question it or complain about it, and then did something kind for me. I won't give myself full credit for any of this, but I think that maybe, possibly, I'm not doing everything wrong after all.

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