Sunday, September 15, 2024

A Silly Snake and My Own Practicality

 

I was surprised and delighted to nearly stumble, literally, on this rubber snake on our way to South Kensington Station after Z and I went to see Taylor Swift's clothes at the V&A. While I picked up some kitten earrings in the gift shop, I think this photo is my favourite souvenir of this little mother/daughter jaunt. A harmless object that looks a little bit vicious, in a silly sort of way, is just my kind of thing. 

I'm not sure that we are Swifties, but we do like most of her music, and when it comes to generosity of time, attention, and resources, she is an excellent example. She shouldn't be put on a pedestal by any means, and certainly she's made mistakes, but who exists about which we cannot say the same? And yet I found myself wondering if people we know who think Taylor Swift is a horrible person would judge what we posted on our social media accounts. I decided it could be what is referred to in the modern parlance as a "them problem." But I still worried, a little.

I find myself perplexed by the expectations laid on people, whether they be famous or not. The voices on the internet are quick to judge, and I'll confess that I have sometimes been one of those voices. But I have realised how far short I fall of the standards I set for other people, and I think it's best to look to my own self improvement before I start telling other people how they should be. If I cannot stop ordering things of dubious origin from Amazon, can I really expect even more of someone else? I cannot. I am also very mindful these days that I am placing blame or giving credit where it is actually due - and sometimes it is hard to tell just where this credit or blame should fall. But if I am in some small way committing the same wrongs, then certainly the way forward is to correct it in myself. And when it comes to the mistakes I've made in the past, well, there are certainly enough of them to put me on par with anyone who is currently being criticised on the internet.

I had a very hard time in the autumn when people commented on what was happening in a country far away. I'm sure you know which one I mean, because the problems persist to this day. One woman went so far as to say that she would tell the children and grandchildren of those who did not speak up what awful people they had been at this time. We had just lived through a complicated situation regarding a war elsewhere, which I could not speak about for reasons which would be negated if I explained now. But it was personal, and for two and a half years I lived with this uncertainty that terrified me. And there was nothing I could do but wait. So when this other situation arose, it didn't feel right to me to say anything, after I'd said nothing about this other thing for two and a half years. So I was quiet and have remained quiet about both situations. My voice would not move the needle in any particular direction, and I prefer the actions I take to be effective.

I suppose that's what lots of my stances on contentious topics boil down to. I am, in many ways, a practical person. Add to that the limited time, energy, and mental space I have to devote to each individual thing, and it would be unwise to fritter away myself for something that will end with no ground gained. I want what I do and say to be effective and helpful. So I ask myself firstly if what I think should happen actually can happen. Idealism gives us something to aim for, but if we can never reach it, then we will only live our lives frustrated and angry. I think a better question might be, "What is the best possible outcome?" And then figure out how to get that. Sometimes there is a big gap between what can happen now and what is possible with time and a lot of effort. So we do what we can now and (hopefully) make a plan for the future. It can be hard to look at a world full of suffering and not want things to happen now, and not understand why others cannot get on board. Add to that our addiction to instant gratification, and it is a tall order to slow down and make plans, to accept that these things always take longer and are more tedious than we'd prefer. 

And then there are the sacrifices necessary to get there. I am not very good at sacrifice. See the aforementioned Amazon habit. I am trying to get better at it. I know that if I truly want to do good in this world, more will be required of me than I'd often prefer to give, and it is better to practice this now than to be caught unprepared later. So I guess that's where I'll leave this for today. In the midst of mulling over all of this, on my way downstairs to make some progress toward putting dinner on the table.

Until next time...

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